So BV did come around, kind of. I sent him a text on Sunday asking how his trip to Vermont was. He responded back right away. I had been at my mother’s and wasn’t checking my phone very often, so when he responded asking what I was doing later and that he wanted to see me, I didn’t write back right away. An hour later he said something like “well let me know…” and I said I wanted to see him too, but by then Sunday was gone. He asked me to dinner for Tuesday, and this time I was watching a movie so I again didn’t reply immediately (totally unintentional). After a bit he was like “?” Hmm. Shoe on other foot perhaps?
Communication was somewhat solid for a day or so, and we had a splendid sushi date on Tuesday, followed by a nighttime beach drive/park (like teenagers, hot and steamy). He opened doors, paid the tab (he won’t let me) and was funny and charming and most of all, fun. BV is a really good-time dude. I just enjoy his company. I feel like it could definitely blossom if he were willing to open up emotionally or just be a little less…guy-like? I don’t know. He’s sporadic with his text responses, which range from 30 seconds to 20 hours. I just never know when I’ll hear from him, or if. He seems blasé about me. I’m used to men being more smitten with me, I’ll be honest. I’ve mentioned to pretty much all of my friends that he seems “insincere” and potentially “shady” but whenever I see him in person he feels and acts completely authentic. It’s puzzling.
Also strange because last year this time I was in a similar relationship stance – an adorable gentleman who I worked with (still do, technically) who was an almost but not quite. He was bad about communicating and didn’t seem sincere, and didn’t make efforts to take our courtship (oh, it was more of a fuckship) to a romantic level. Just kind of waiting on him. Maybe it’s because I’ve dated so much, or watched too many romantic indie movies, but I’m always holding out for sweet gestures and little tokens of someone letting you know they’re into you. BV doesn’t really do that. The neon flag is kind of there, but the reason I haven’t surrendered this one is because I think it could have potential…maybe. We haven’t had sex since our first time (he lives with parents!) so I’m not exactly sure if that’s all he’s in it for. He’s hard to read.
Sigh. It isn’t even that I want a “good man,” of course there are probably a few good men (heh…) to choose from. But will I get butterflies over them? Be attracted to them? Probs not. I’m picky as hell and THAT’S WHY I’M SINGLE.
That all said – whenever I’m feeling ambivalent like this about someone, I think it’s good idea to keep the door open for other options. I have some prospects but none have blown me away (I hate match.com) and the whole pain in the ass of online dating is so awkward to me. I have more luck meeting someone, having a first date with them, then becoming acquaintances with them and THEN hooking up with them years later. Online dating is so out of context, maybe that’s why it hasn’t “worked,” because it seems so odd to try and fit someone in my life with no frame of reference.
Anyway. That’s what I’m doing…until the real thing comes along.