It’s raining men!

It seemed like just week that the fields were fallow…and there weren’t any dateable men in sight. I was (and still am, sort of) pining helplessly over M, the gorgeous tattooed/bearded but ultimately unavailable man I reconnected with about a month ago. No one else was that exciting.

This past Thursday someone randomly popped into my head – a man I once knew and worked with (actually, Kat and I both knew and worked with him). JP. I’ve known him since I was 19 (when I was a teen wife!), and never considered him “that” way. The first time I even perceived him as a sexual being at all was when he started dating another girl we both worked with – they were together for three years, with complications that I’ll leave out. (They are broken up and the girl is again with her child’s father.) I considered texting him to say hello, but I wound up getting distracted and went to work out. When I checked my phone later…a text – from JP. “Hey, I know this is really random, but I was just thinking of you and wondering how you were doing.”

I was blown away by the weirdness of it. This is someone that I’ve barely seen since we stopped working together, except for a few bump-ins at the gym. I remarked how, strange as it was, I’d been thinking of him as well. We small talked over text for a few days. Then yesterday, while I was lounging poolside with another long-lost pal, he invited me to a fire/cookout/swim party at his house on the lake. I said I’d make an appearance later. A few things were running through my head. This is a person that I’ve  never considered romantically before. But I had to admit…he is attractive (although not at all my usual “type”  – he’s very clean cut, short light brown hair, no hope of a beard…but a very, very nice body…) and an unquestionably interesting person.

My friend Jenna’s fiancé brought one of his friends to their house, since they were doing demo on a house they’re remodeling nearby. Said friend was not my type, no attraction. But he seemed fixated on me, especially when I was in the pool. He admired my tattoo and asked who did my work. When we were hanging by the fire I remember talking about my love of living alone because of “naked breakfast” and that I wear lingerie around the house by myself. True things, but not said to impress or titillate. I was also swooning over Jenna’s 7-month old saying I couldn’t wait to get knocked up. SEXY right? I got in my car to leave and as I was driving, I noticed something white and square sticking up from under my windshield. I pulled over to see what it was – a note, written in man-cursive “Victoria, would love to get to know you better, maybe go for sushi sometime? -Andy. Phone number.” Hmm. Cute right? I texted him today saying I would love to get together…as friends “at least.” Giving a guy false hope isn’t right…

As I was driving through the woods towards JP’s house, beneath the moonlight and among fireflies, I couldn’t help but feel that fluttery feeling that I get when I like someone. What?! So strange. The party… lots of fun people, plenty of booze (jager shots and PBR make me friendly.. oh, and I’m drinking again) and a beautiful night swim out to the dock in the middle of the lake. It was a carefree and perfect summer night. Like an Abercrombie ad. I was so thankful for every oblique twist I’ve done over the last six months to get my body in the condition that it’s in. So more shots were had, and JP was pretty drunk at this point, much more so than I was since he had been outdrinking me about 3:1 and had thrown Crown Royal into the mix. It was a great time…good people, a little rowdy, but I was so enjoying being near JP and it seemed pretty mutual. I was taking care of him — I rubbed aloe on his sunburned shoulders and made sure he was drinking water, and he asked me if I would “tuck him in.” When the friends had gone home or off to different corners to sleep, we went in his room.

I read (amazingly, I can read when I’m hammered) to him from the Zombie Combat Manual and before I knew it, we were cuddled right up together. We’d been flirting all night. I happen to love when this happens. No real intentions, but it feels so good to give in to mutual attraction. We talked and lay together for hours, he wrapped me up so tightly. Before I knew it he was kissing me, and I felt the sparks I’m always talking about. Fireworks. Rockets. Meteoric. It’s the only kind of feeling you should be having when kissing someone for the first time, I think. I was surprised though – I thought that my attachments to M would get in the way of me enjoying something with someone else. But nope. It was a great fucking night. He even kissed my forehead.  And although we both woke up hungover, I still have a pretty good feeling about it. He likes cats, after all.

Meanwhile – I checked my Facebook and I had two separate messages – both from different guys I worked with at different jobs. One of whom I went on one date with and had no desire to pursue things with but continues to ask me out occasionally asked me out again, and another, more intriguing message. This from a fellow I worked with at my last job who I barely knew, but thought was nice/cute/interesting – said “This is really weird, but I was wondering if I could take you out for a drink. I have had a crush on you since we worked at ecoast, and I had to say something.” Hmm. I responded to him saying I definitely would, and the other two that I would prefer to be friends. An intriguing and sudden influx of interested men outside of match.com this weekend.

As an anecdote I should add – I did go on a match.com date with a 35 year-old English/social studies teacher on Friday night. It turned out to be fun, but kind of mediocre. Went smoothly but no big sparks. I don’t think he liked me because at the end he jumped up and said he had to get going and in the parking lot said “we should do this again sometime,” which means we won’t. But I’m cool with that. For some reason I get the sense that looking for “love” online just doesn’t really work that well. As much as I date and have dated, I just feel like I’m going to wind up with someone that I already know…

9 comments on “It’s raining men!

  1. When it rains, it sure does seem to pour! I remember this happening pretty often in my single days. I could feel practically invisible to men for weeks. But then…bam! Out of nowhere, it seemed everyone had decided to flock to me at the same time. One of those weird mysteries in life, I guess. Maybe you’ll experience something good with one of these fellows!

  2. I love these stories! I tend to notice that things come in waves too…
    JP sounds fun — hope things progress :)!

    • Maybe… I left my beach towel at his house so there’s a reason to meet up again. He teased me about the “accidental on purpose” leave behind. But his texts, when I get them, are dismissive and noncommittal. Big thumbs down.

  3. When you suddenly consider someone to be dating material that you overlooked before… I call those re-treads. Give a second look when circumstances/priorities/needs are a bit different. In my 40s, re-treads stretch all the way back to college sometimes. It sounds like you had a great date. Are you still seeing JP?

  4. […] and be with him, someone who knows me so well, who’d never hurt me? The dude I mentioned here had asked me out and I was intrigued. So bad with the fake names so we’ll have to call him BV […]

  5. […] and be with him, someone who knows me so well, who’d never hurt me? The dude I mentioned here had asked me out and I was intrigued. So bad with the fake names so we’ll have to call him BV […]

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