“Yes dating”

It’s no secret that I’m notoriously picky about the men I go out with. Most of them don’t stick around for various reasons – I tend to not even give a guy a chance if he doesn’t meet certain criteria out of the gate. I prefer a man who is at least as financially stable as I am. I prefer creative types. I fetishize beards. I know what I like. The clean-shaven, dude-guy look just isn’t my thing. I screen guys heavily and I tend to put them through the ringer. And I’m still single. And starting to wonder if my choosiness isn’t becoming my worst enemy in finding fiery romantic love. I can’t date a “regular” guy. Or can I?

A few years ago, I read a book called The Year of Yes. It was memorable to me – the author, finicky much like myself, decides to take a year and say yes to every single guy who asks her out. Of course the results are at turns hilarious and heartbreaking. Just say yes. Check your judgments, don’t analyze where it can go or if he’s your type – just do it. Yes dating.

Last night I went out with Jake, a perfectly nice gentleman who happens to be a musician. He had the creative vibe I liked. His music isn’t what I’m into – apparently somewhere between Opeth and Iron Maiden. (I like good old-fashioned metal sometimes, but I’m more into hardcore/grindcore/industrial/doom) I’d been talking to him for ages on and off, he’d quit match.com where we initially met and he had friended me on Facebook, leaving me with a “real person” vibe. Hang ups? He went to school for a year or two, didn’t finish, and racked up oodles of student loan and credit card debt and is now living with his dad whilst working full time, third shift, at a factory, with no end in sight. He also lives an hour away. I had fun with him (had Chinese food and saw Rock of Ages – hilarious good time) and he was a FLAWLESS GENTLEMAN but I couldn’t help but wonder where it could possibly go. No kiss goodnight. Lately, my heart has been tied to someone else – someone I can’t have and need to get over; the sooner the better.

I want to stay open to exploring different things. I also finally started talking to a chap who suits my type a bit more. His initials are CK and his real name is the same as a certain famous designer. He’s got the rockabilly look with knuckle and throat tattoos (be still my heart) but admittedly drinks as a hobby and doesn’t read books. His approach wasn’t the norm either. He gave me his number right off – at first I never texted him and then lost the email that contained it. Yesterday I randomly asked him for it again and he gave it to me again and I went for it. Why the fuck not, right? Do opposites attract? I didn’t mind texting about chainsaws and sex at nine in the morning. It was candid and refreshing.

Some of my favorite relationships in my past are with men who didn’t meet my initial expectations or standards. Which, I’ve been told by many, are irrationally high. Charlotte York high. I want good on paper and in bed, and to be blown away with attraction and mesmerizing chemistry. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I’m thinking perhaps, just perhaps, yes dating could be the way to go for the time being. At least until the real thing comes along…


4 comments on ““Yes dating”

  1. I’m not sure I could ‘Yes’ everyone who asked me out, but will say that RC was certainly a step out of my comfort zone and it’s working well for me so far. Sometimes it’s worth the risk… 😉

    • I don’t think I can take the yes to an extreme (certain people it’s probably safe to assume won’t work out) but you just never know. I guess keep an open mind…

  2. Snark, I love your stories about Robo. Keep ’em coming 🙂

  3. I like the idea of “yes dating” but with limits. There’s no reason to accept a date with someone who’s completely hideous, but I went on plenty of dates where the guy didn’t meet even half of my criteria yet I thought I might have a good time. There’s no harm in meeting people and having fun. Every encounter doesn’t have to lead to something serious, and it’s always possible to be pleasantly surprised by someone when you least expect it.

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