Good date fadeout, and why texting confuses me.

In my dating life, a FAD (aka freaking awesome date) almost never happens. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn’t be so chock full of ideas for a single gals blog with my cat lady soul sister. So when one does happen it’s kind of like a rare event.

Meet C. He was a find from match.com, a handsome dude in his mid twenties, a few months older than me. He was a little on the vanilla side over email, admittedly, but seemed earnest and genuine. I wanted to meet to see if there was any in-person chemistry, so we moved on to texting and agreed to meet up soon. (No one calls each other anymore. Sigh.) Over text he titillated me with his use of proper grammar, and didn’t wait 2 days in between texts. Yay! We made plans to meet up on a Friday night for sushi, again this happened all over text. As soon as I saw him, I was pleasantly struck. He was cuter than I thought he would be, with gorgeous, even white teeth, nice eyes, and perfect height for me (I’m a little short). We had a great date, not explosive chemistry but more of a warming feeling. But I’ll take it.  In my experience, online dating jades you a little and makes you more reserved.

After he paid for sushi (a gentleman!) we headed over to a local dive bar to grab a couple beers. The live music was terrible; I paid the $5 cover for both of us, I realized then that I didn’t have my debit card so wasn’t able to buy beers for us, which was totally my intention. Oops. I may have come off as an airhead, a mooch, or both, who knows. We had a good time though, I criticized the other patrons (my specialty) and we showed each other our tattoos (nothing scandalous), inked by wife (his) and husband (mine). A cool bonding experience. At the end of the night, I offered to drive him back to his place as he lived in town. I did, and at the end, we hugged. No kiss – I was wearing my signature first-date red lipstick. I did actually want to kiss him, but you know. It’s a good barrier to avoid premature physical contact.

I got home that night and was snuggling with my cats when my phone lit up. “Had a great time tonight! Hope you did too.” I texted him back and said that I had really enjoyed his company, along with a witty quip about accidentally kissing the top of my cat’s head with my red lipstick on (sorry Frodo).

Saturday passed with no word. I waited anxiously to hear from him. Nada. Sunday afternoon. Text “Hey! How’s your weekend going?” I texted him with a semi long paragraph about my trip to the beach and a cookout I was attending at a friend’s parents. He mentioned he went fishing, and when I asked him more about it, he let the conversation taper. I made several attempts to pick up the conversation string but this guy is a taper-er. No second date in sight…

Fast forward a week. I was at a pub with a group of new/old friends for pint night. Of course the second you’re NOT willing your phone to vibrate is when it does. “Hey, how’s it goin?” From C. I texted him back awhile later and a few exchanges later he was asking me out on a second date. I said I’d love to hang out again. Then he said he was super busy and would see what he could do to “free up.” (Even though when I asked him what he was doing he said he was at home playing guitar and watching SNL.) His M.O. is now to be super slow to respond to all my texts and has yet to actually set up date #2, even though he made a point to ask me how my tattoo session was the other night. (Sidebar: I’d been with another guy for 13 hours straight, but that’s another story.)

Bottom line: I absolutely refuse to chase him. Is he “just not that into me?”Stay tuned…

5 comments on “Good date fadeout, and why texting confuses me.

  1. I don’t do the chase either or any silly games. I feel like when you’re ‘into’ someone, the communication happens, much like it does with RoboCop :).

    He sounds like a [potential] weiner. Not a winner. Booooo.

  2. I kind of feel like if you weren’t feeling fireworks, maybe he wasn’t either. This does, however, make him a blind douche bag…because you’re amazing. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your cat lady soul sister.
    Side note: I was totally working up a blog about text dating…and I may still post it…cause I’ve got beef with it too, sister! I might even ban texting with men completely unless it’s a platonic situation!! :O

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